I know I overanalyze everything in my life. I think about the fact that I'm too "old" for the current time and then I think that I would never fit into a time before the 80's. I'm so not the 50's wife that I think I could be because I'm just too independent for it but then the independence I do have drives me crazy because I don't want to be responsible for all the decisions that need to be made in our home. How f'd up is that? I can't even curse because I know that one day my daughter might read this and I don't want to be "that" person.
I have issues that I, nor anyone else, can really cure. I don't know if it's bipolar, hypomania, schizophrenia....I guess they're all possible. I want to be happy and want to make my family happy but just don't know how. And I can't seem to express myself without "help". Why is that? I don't want to talk about it if I'm in my "right" mind because it's too embarassing and I think I'm weak if I have to talk about my problems. How messed up is that? Everyone, including me, would just rather ignore it and go on. TRUST me !!!! I would much rather sweep it under the rug and pretend that my emotional issues don't exist. They're too much to deal with at times. Heck, my dad acts like he didn't know! Prozac...antidepressant...they're the same thing Dad! Geeze...like he didn't check out for a freaking year after my brother died. I wish I could check out for a year....the only person that didn't disappear was Stacy and now she has to deal with that along with everything else in her life. I couldn't do it. Personally, I don't how she does it. Wonderwoman...can you say Wonderwoman?
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