What Will Tomorrow Bring?

Today is the beginning of a very long week at work. What am I saying? Last week was the beginning of a very long month at work. I was the idiot that volunteered to head up all of our internal audits. Now don't get me wrong, it really isn't that bad of a gig except for the time constraints. If it weren't for all the time frames it might actually be ok. I mean at least I get to learn more about all the requirements and gain some first hand knowledge of what it would be like to gain a position as an Administrator. (Not that I would ever have the opportunity, but you never know)
This last weekend wasn't bad but it really wasn't all that good either. I'm sure you've assessed that from the last two posts. My baby girl is fine but my nerves have been thouroughly frazzled. I just have to say that I thank God for giving me my sanity just one more day.

So what do you think tomorrow will bring? I'm hoping for some comp time and a drink. Of course the best thing that tomorrow can bring will be another day with my beautiful baby girl, my awesome hubby and all the other wonderful people that I have been so blessed to have in my life.

What About HIM?

I feel like such dork! You know that feeling when you drink too much or just share too many emotions and people are at that point with you that they walk on egg shells around you? Yeah, that's where I'm at. I've been bawling like a baby about my daughter but I think I've also been bawling about myself because HIS 35th birthday was on Father's Day. How do you divide your emotions between your husband and your deceased brother? Tell me how you're supposed to do that?

What A Day...Or Should I Say Month?

So do you ever have those days when you just want to say WTF? Between the typical sexual exploration that you have to explain to your child is not appropriate behavior and the fact that you've had the busiest week ever in your life....I have to say WTF????? It breaks my heart to hear my 3 year old talking about someone...anyone touching her and then having to call another mother to talk about it. Not to mention that the other mom is one of my all time best friends! The thing that really scares me is what if it wasn't the typical 3 year old exploration and it was some f'd up adult that took advantage of my sweet, innocent little girl. I don't think I could handle that!!! I need another drink...

Take The Good With The Bad

What a long week and weekend! I have to say there have been some good as well as some not so good moments. I got to hang out with a new friend on Wednesday evening after work. The little one and I had a great time and it was so nice to be able to spend some time with someone that has a little girl the same age as mine as well as some of the same emotions and interests. I also got to have lunch with a friend on Friday and that was more than I expected. Our conversation was great. She told me a lot of things about her life and it was so similar to mine. We both ended up tearing up a couple of times but it was just so refreshing to talk to someone who has been in the same emotional state.
The bad is that I just about it lost it again last night. Not too bad, but it was close. I managed to remove myself from the situation and things ended up being fine. I just hate it when that type of thing happens. I get so frustrated with myself. I think it might be getting better though. I think I might be getting to the point where I may not be able to control the emotions, but at least hold back the anger when it comes out.

Will I Ever Catch Up?

You know it's one of those things that everyone says. "I'm so busy." You know you've heard it a million times and you'll hear it a million more. We all have things going on in our lives and no one is immune to this fast pace world that has become our home. There are definitely times that I feel like going back to another time and place where there is no technology and just pure life. Of course I would miss the modern conveniences that I know but the thought of a simpler life is still somewhat appealing.
I get so bogged down in every day life that I forget to enjoy what I have right here in my own home. I get so selfish with MY time and MY schedule. Is it really mine though? We all have so little time in the grand scheme of things so why focus on the things that we have no control over? This, coming from a MAJOR control freak. I hope one day I'll figure it out.