You know the one thing that I want more than anything in the whole world is to be a good mother. I second guess myself all the time. People tell me that it's normal to be unsure of your parenting abilities and that I'm just too hard on myself. Don't get me wrong, that makes me feel a little better about myself but I continue to feel inadequate no matter how much people tell me I'm not. Is it some sort of disorder like depression or hypomania?
A lot of times, I can't even handle the day to day things that come up and I get so darn selfish! I only want to be by myself and I never seem to have enough time. I just want my little girl to have a great life and for my husband to be happy. There are times that I think they would be better without me. Not that I would ever hurt myself or anything, I just want them to be happy and I get so afraid that they never will be with me around. How do you change yourself? How do you stop the feelings that hold you back?
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